Questions to Ask Your Long-Distance Partner

After a while, "how was your day" runs out. When you're far apart, you can't fall back on shared routines to fill the silence. You need other ways in.

Here are questions for long-distance couples, grouped by mood. Use them on a call, in a message, or as a game: take turns and pick one at random.

Light questions

For an ordinary evening.

• What was the best thing you ate this week?
• What's one small thing that made you smile today?
• If we could spend a free Saturday together, what would we do?
• What song have you had on repeat lately?
• What's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
• Which of our habits do you find the funniest?

Getting to know you better

For when you want to go a little deeper.

• What was your favourite place to be as a child?
• What's something you've changed your mind about in the last few years?
• What does a perfect ordinary day look like for you?
• What's something you're proud of that you rarely mention?
• Who has influenced you the most, and why?
• What do you need more of in your life right now?

About us

For checking in on the relationship itself.

• What's your favourite memory of us so far?
• When do you feel closest to me, even from far away?
• What do you miss most about being together?
• What's one thing I could do that would make the distance feel easier?
• What are you looking forward to the most at our next visit?
• How do you feel about how much we talk? Is it too much, too little, or about right?

About the future

For when you're ready to talk about the end of the distance.

• Where do you picture us living, and why there?
• What would we each have to give up, and what would we gain?
• What does home mean to you?
• What's one thing you want us to have done together five years from now?
• What worries you about closing the distance?
• What would our first week living in the same city look like?

Questions about where you each live

Distance means you each have a life the other can't see. These help bridge it.

• What's your favourite spot in your city, and what do you like about it?
• What does your street sound like in the morning?
• What's the first thing you'd show me if I visited tomorrow?
• Which place in my city do you most want to see?

How to use these questions

Don't rush through them like an interview. Ask one, then really listen, and follow where it goes. If a question leads somewhere better, stay there. And answer them yourself too, so it stays a conversation and not a quiz.

For ideas on what to do on your next call, see our long-distance relationship activities and date ideas. For more on keeping things strong from afar, read our long-distance relationship tips and the gift guide for long-distance love.

Who we are

We're TwinCity Artworks. We make custom artwork that combines two or more cities into one piece, for people whose hearts live in more than one place: couples in different countries, expats, and families spread across the map. You choose the cities, see a free digital preview, and request changes before anything is printed. Visit TwinCity Artworks

FAQ

What are good questions to ask your long-distance partner?
Mix light ones (what made you smile today), getting-to-know-you ones (what does a perfect ordinary day look like for you), and relationship ones (when do you feel closest to me from far away).

How do I keep conversations interesting in a long-distance relationship?
Ask open questions, share small details from your day, and try new formats, like a question per call, a shared game, or a walk while you talk.

What should long-distance couples talk about?
Everyday life, memories, plans, worries, and the future. It helps to talk about what each of you misses and what would make the distance easier.

What are deep questions for long-distance couples?
Questions about home, what you need from each other, where you picture living, and what worries you about closing the distance.

How often should we have these conversations?
Whenever it feels natural. Some couples save a question for each weekly date, others keep a list handy for slow evenings.